We were living in Tidworth at the time, my husband, Lee, was serving as a Corporal in the 2nd Royal Tank Regiment and was about to leave to go on tour in Afghanistan. A dedicated soldier, he loved being in the Army, he was proud to serve his Queen and country. We had two children, Kai, aged five, and Brooke, who was just seven months old when he left.  

It had been five days since I last spoke to Lee. Just a few weeks before, a soldier in his regiment was killed, and I had a phone call with Lee where he described washing blood off his hands into the river. He said “I’ve never seen anything like this and I don’t want to be here.” That hurt, I just wanted to give him a hug. Josh’s death was a wake-up call for all the military wives and girlfriends, but we thought that was the “close call”. Then on July 10th 2009, my world was turned upside down when I had the knock on the door that every Army wife dreads. The day when I was told that Lee had been killed by an IED in Afghanistan. I felt completely alone. I didn’t know how I was going to carry on without Lee in my life. 

The most painful thing for me was knowing our two precious children would now have to face life without their daddy. Brooke was just 7 months old. She would have no memories of her time with Lee, and Kai was only 5. How was I going to tell our little boy that his Daddy wasn’t coming home? 

When I sat Kai down on his bed to tell him, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. From then on Kai completely changed as a little boy, he became really withdrawn, had horrific nightmares, he just wasn’t my happy Kai anymore, it destroyed his world and there was just nothing I could do to take his pain and hurt away. 

Nine months after Lee’s death, my family took us away on holiday. I didn’t want to go. I couldn’t face the thought of dealing with two kids at an airport and the bags and everything else without Lee. I was worried people would think I was “over it”. But going on that holiday was the best thing I could have done – I finally relaxed. I was sitting on a sun lounger watching the kids laughing and playing, Kai was in the pool with his cousins, and I realised I hadn’t seen him laugh like that in months. 

It made me wonder how many other bereaved military children could be going through the same pain. How many other military families out there had experienced the death of their hero and needed support to cope with their grief? I started to think of this idea for a military charity that would provide support for bereaved military children through a membership. These children deserved the very best support and the opportunity to smile again, and so that became my mission. 

Launching a Military Charity

After that holiday, I had a fire inside me to create something that would help bereaved military children just like Kai and Brooke. We launched the charity in 2010 with just ten Scotty Members and thanks to the support of the press and public, we were able to finance our first Scotty Lodge in Great Yarmouth. We received donations of toys, which we would send as a gift to the children on their birthdays to remind them that they were not alone. This was the beginning of our SMILES Programme. I arranged a party so our Members could meet other bereaved military children just like them and become part of a unique military community. Read more about my experience of launching a military charity and how the organisation has grown by clicking below. 

It's amazing to see how far Scotty’s Little Soldiers has come since we launched. I never ever thought when we started the charity back in 2010 that we would be where we are today. But every day we see the impact the charity has in the lives of our bereaved military families. 

We’re currently supporting over 650 bereaved military children and young people with a goal to reach 1,000 annually by 2030. We provide specialist bereavement support to military families from the Army, Navy and RAF, and no matter what the cause of death. We have families bereaved by suicide, illness, accident, killed in action and several other causes. 

Our Members get access to a unique military community, respite breaks, gifts, grants, educational and learning development opportunities, plus fun events where the children can have the opportunity to smile again following a military bereavement. Our support is available for young people aged 0-25, which means our Members can reach out throughout their childhood for extra support whenever they need us. 

The Future of Scotty’s Little Soldiers

We’ve achieved so much at Scotty’s, more than I ever could have imagined. But we still have so much more to do. We’re working on building a sustainable charity that will be here long after me, but that will continue to provide the very best support for bereaved military children and young people. These children have been through so much and they deserve the very best care. Scotty’s Little Soldiers works hard to ensure that bereaved British Forces children are never forgotten, and that their voice is heard.